I found my light

Two of my favourite quotes refer to light and together they helped me find mine.  

One is from AA “Believe more deeply.  Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.”  I would come home from evening meetings, stand on my doorstep and hold my face up to the light.  I would look into the night sky and eventually I began to see the stars.    I could see beyond the clouds, the darkness and I knew that I would be alright.  

The other is by Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light not our darkness, that frightens us most.”  This resonated before I stopped drinking.  Something in it called to me.  It told me that there was more, to be my own light.

When I became sober, I connected to the light inside me, the very tiny flame of desire for better, for more.  I learnt how to protect it, to fan it, to allow it to grow.  This holds me now, through everything, everyday.